{"id":486,"date":"2008-01-25T22:17:00","date_gmt":"2008-01-25T22:17:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lucysnyder.com\/index.php\/a-brief-guide-to-the-money-fairies\/"},"modified":"2008-01-25T22:17:00","modified_gmt":"2008-01-25T22:17:00","slug":"a-brief-guide-to-the-money-fairies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lucysnyder.com\/index.php\/a-brief-guide-to-the-money-fairies\/","title":{"rendered":"A Brief Guide to the Money Fairies"},"content":{"rendered":"<p align=\"left\">This month, I&#8217;ll venture into the realm of cryptozoology and discuss entities that most people have encountered but few are aware of. These elusive, mercurial creatures are the members of the genus <em>Lucrafae<\/em>, more commonly known as the money fairies.<\/p>\n<p align=\"left\">In the U.S., the most widely-known money fairy is <em>Lucrafae dentum<\/em>: the tooth fairy. Although these fairies have been subject to a great deal of speculation, cryptozoologists have very little hard data about what tooth fairies actually do with the teeth they gather. However, recent research by fairy expert Rudy Briggs indicates that they likely obtain their seemingly-endless supply of quarters by robbing vending machines. Briggs feels that this theft is accomplished with the help of a coin goblin (<em>Malargentus dammit<\/em>), since goblins are responsible for most cases of money lost in malfunctioning machines.<\/p>\n<p align=\"left\">Other money fairies are thought to have mutualistic relationships with goblins. The lesser money fairy (<em>L. bonus<\/em>) is responsible for finds of dollar bills and loose change in couches across the world. Conversely, the loss of pocket money into couches and gutters is most often caused by the pocket goblin (<em>Malargentus spill<\/em>). The goblin passes the lost cash to a money fairy in exchange for various personal services that are best left to the imagination. People may also lose money to a couch imp (<em>Argentovore sofa<\/em>), which typically devours dollar bills and defecates stale popcorn and sticky pennies. Money fairies have an antagonistic relationship with couch imps, since imps sometimes eat cash that the fairies have planted for human discovery.<\/p>\n<p align=\"left\">Writers may encounter a wide variety of money fairies during their lives. In addition to the fairies already mentioned, receipt-hoarding authors wait in eager anticipation for a yearly visit from the tax refund fairy (<em>L. caesar<\/em>). Night writers who support their families with full-time jobs often hope for an appearance of the increasingly rare overtime fairy (<em>L. hemitempora<\/em>).<\/p>\n<p align=\"left\">The second most important fairy in a writer&#8217;s life is the freelance fairy (<em>Lucrafae gig<\/em>). <em>L. gig<\/em> is responsible for paid writing assignments that are difficult to obtain or which seemingly come out of nowhere (&#8220;I saw your story on the Web and quite liked it. I was wondering if you had finished any novels? We pay professional advances.&#8221;). <\/p>\n<p align=\"left\">Unfortunately, payments generated by the freelance fairy are often delayed by the postal imp (<em>Papyrovore deadletter<\/em>). Worse, they may be destroyed entirely by any of several economic demons that regularly drive publishing companies out of business. Some lesser demons may possess publishers who then adhere to the letter of a writing contract but not its spirit and seek ways to cheat writers out of fair payment.<\/p>\n<p align=\"left\">Therefore, the most important entity in a writer&#8217;s life is the greater money fairy (<em>Lucrafae hallelujah<\/em>). Greater money fairies deal in large, unexpected sums of money, and they can often counteract the evil whims of economic demons. The greater money fairy is a master of disguise, and when visiting non-writers may often camouflage itself as <em>L. caesar<\/em>. However, it most often appears to writers in the form of the author&#8217;s agent: &#8220;Congratulations! We negotiated a 5-book deal. Your advance in the amount of $250,000 is enclosed.&#8221; <\/p>\n<p align=\"left\">Some writers seek to attract greater money fairies by propagating email chain letters (&#8220;Send this email to twenty people, and by the end of this month a financial windfall will come your way!&#8221;) Sadly, chain letters will only irritate your friends. Other writers try to attract money fairies with lottery tickets, slot machines, and poker games. While it <em>is<\/em> possible to obtain a rare visit from a greater money fairy through gambling, it is much more likely that you will attract the cruel attention of your own personal economic demon.<\/p>\n<p align=\"left\">How, then, can a writer get the attention of a greater money fairy? Experts agree that making the very most out of visits from the gregarious freelance fairy is the best way to attract gifts from its powerful cousin. But wearing your lucky hat probably won&#8217;t hurt, either.<\/p>\n<p align=\"left\">We hope you get a visit very soon.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<div class=\"mh-excerpt\"><p>This month, I&#8217;ll venture into the realm of cryptozoology and discuss entities that most people have encountered but few are aware of. These elusive, mercurial <a class=\"mh-excerpt-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lucysnyder.com\/index.php\/a-brief-guide-to-the-money-fairies\/\" title=\"A Brief Guide to the Money Fairies\">[&#8230;]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[23,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-486","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8qT6f-7Q","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2719,"url":"https:\/\/www.lucysnyder.com\/index.php\/garden-of-eldritch-delights-and-chiral-mad-4-nominated-for-shirley-jackson-awards\/","url_meta":{"origin":486,"position":0},"title":"Garden of Eldritch Delights and Chiral Mad 4 Nominated for Shirley Jackson Awards","author":"Lucy A. Snyder","date":"May 30, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Two of my books have been nominated for Shirley Jackson Awards this year! Garden of Eldritch Delights has been nominated in the Single-Author Collection Category, and Chiral Mad 4 (which I co-edited with Michael Bailey) has been nominated in the Edited Anthology category. The Shirley Jackson Awards were established to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;horror&quot;","block_context":{"text":"horror","link":"https:\/\/www.lucysnyder.com\/index.php\/category\/horror\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The covers to Garden of Eldritch Delights and Chiral Mad 4","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lucysnyder.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Duo-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lucysnyder.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Duo-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lucysnyder.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Duo-1.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lucysnyder.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Duo-1.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lucysnyder.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Duo-1.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":665,"url":"https:\/\/www.lucysnyder.com\/index.php\/movie-review-the-company-of-wolves\/","url_meta":{"origin":486,"position":1},"title":"Movie Review: The Company of Wolves","author":"Lucy A. Snyder","date":"July 13, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"The Company of Wolves is one of only two Angela Carter stories to make it to the big screen so far (which is a shame, since so much of her work is wonderful and eminently filmable). Wolves is a horror movie in the same sense that Legend and Labyrinth are\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;movie&quot;","block_context":{"text":"movie","link":"https:\/\/www.lucysnyder.com\/index.php\/category\/movie\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":601,"url":"https:\/\/www.lucysnyder.com\/index.php\/movie-review-manhunter-vs-red-dragon\/","url_meta":{"origin":486,"position":2},"title":"Movie Review: Manhunter vs. Red Dragon","author":"Lucy A. Snyder","date":"October 20, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Director Michael Mann's Manhunter is among my favorite movies; this 1986 release was the first film based on Thomas Harris' novel Red Dragon. The studio opted not to use Harris' title because at that time his books were not as well known and they were afraid people would think it\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;movie&quot;","block_context":{"text":"movie","link":"https:\/\/www.lucysnyder.com\/index.php\/category\/movie\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"http:\/\/www.assoc-amazon.com\/e\/ir?t=lookwhatifoun-20&l=ur2&o=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3080,"url":"https:\/\/www.lucysnyder.com\/index.php\/dor-feb-8th-2020\/","url_meta":{"origin":486,"position":3},"title":"February Day of Reckoning Workshop","author":"Lucy A. Snyder","date":"November 7, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"On February 8th, 2020, I and seven other authors will offer topical seminars in the daylong Day of Reckoning writing workshop from Storyville Studio. Seats are limited, so sign up today! MODERN SOUTHERN GOTHIC WITH EDEN ROYCE 9:00 \u2014 10:00 A.M. CST Loved for its focus on family secrets, the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;writing workshop&quot;","block_context":{"text":"writing workshop","link":"https:\/\/www.lucysnyder.com\/index.php\/category\/writing-workshop\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Storyville Studio","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lucysnyder.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/SS_DOR2-e1586998717934.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lucysnyder.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/SS_DOR2-e1586998717934.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lucysnyder.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/SS_DOR2-e1586998717934.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lucysnyder.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/SS_DOR2-e1586998717934.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":161,"url":"https:\/\/www.lucysnyder.com\/index.php\/on-urban-fantasy\/","url_meta":{"origin":486,"position":4},"title":"On Urban Fantasy","author":"Lucy A. Snyder","date":"February 23, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"On several occasions, I\u2019ve heard readers bemoaning the comparatively small number of horror novels being released by major publishers. But the horror is out there; it just sometimes isn\u2019t being marketed as such. In the case of supernatural horror in particular, it\u2019s often being marketed as urban fantasy. Take Tim\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Writing Advice&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Writing Advice","link":"https:\/\/www.lucysnyder.com\/index.php\/category\/writing-advice\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lucysnyder.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/liens_infernaux_1920x1200.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lucysnyder.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/liens_infernaux_1920x1200.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lucysnyder.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/liens_infernaux_1920x1200.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lucysnyder.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/liens_infernaux_1920x1200.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lucysnyder.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/liens_infernaux_1920x1200.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lucysnyder.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/liens_infernaux_1920x1200.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2709,"url":"https:\/\/www.lucysnyder.com\/index.php\/do-not-go-quietly\/","url_meta":{"origin":486,"position":5},"title":"Do Not Go Quietly","author":"Lucy A. Snyder","date":"May 29, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Last week, Apex Book Company released Do Not Go Quietly: An Anthology of Victory in Defiance. This anthology contains my poem \"Permian Basin Blues\" along with work by Fran Wilde, Shanna Germain, Maurice Broaddus, Nayad Monroe, Christina Sng, and many others. Here's the full Table of Contents: FICTION John Hornor\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;My Books&quot;","block_context":{"text":"My Books","link":"https:\/\/www.lucysnyder.com\/index.php\/category\/my-books\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lucysnyder.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/DoNotGoQuietlyFrontCoversm.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lucysnyder.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/DoNotGoQuietlyFrontCoversm.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lucysnyder.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/DoNotGoQuietlyFrontCoversm.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lucysnyder.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/DoNotGoQuietlyFrontCoversm.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lucysnyder.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/486","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lucysnyder.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lucysnyder.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lucysnyder.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lucysnyder.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=486"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lucysnyder.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/486\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lucysnyder.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=486"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lucysnyder.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=486"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lucysnyder.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=486"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}